No-one to Talk to

Anon writes:

hi I feel im stuck in a trap!! Me and my parents keep arguing and moaning at me to stay on at college and do my best. I know they are looking out for me and to have a good education but Im 18 years old. Im fed up of learning now i just want to go and work. I've been wiv my bf for 7months nearly. i love him 2 bits and dont wanna be away from him at all. A few days ago my bf told me he was going to have to go back home due to all the bills etc and his parents live in Norfolk. I dont want him to go ( i prob sound horrible there ) as i love him so much and i dont wanna be here with my parents as we always argue. Arguing with my parents all the time have got me down and i feel they are trying to push me away. Im thinking about moving with my bf to his parents but i dont know what to do!!!! I just feel i cant talk to my mum about it as she will get all angry with me and I feel my friends would not understand either....... HELP ME PLEASE :( x

Yin's Answer

You are at the age at the moment where you want to be free and independant and your parents are terrified of letting you go.

Neither of you is particularly in the wrong - you need to learn to compromise.

You're mum and dad probably don't feel that you are mature enough to make these decisions on your own, and if this is not the case, then you need to prove it to them.

Sit down and talk to them in a civilised manor, don't get angry or be rude, just talk nicely. Prove that you know what you want in life and you know what decisions you want to make.

You have to make your own mistakes, and your mum and dad at the minute, understandably, don't want you to make any decisions that you are going to regret.

Yang's Answer

7 months may feel like a long time to be in a relationship with someone, but without meaning to sound patronising, it isn't.

You need to be very careful with how you approach a situation with moving in with him. If you feel that you are ready and your relationship can survive the strain of living together, then that's okay. Only the two of you will know this though.

Don't cut all ties at home and leave on a bad note though, because what if your relationship doesn't last? You will be stuck in a different town, knowing only people that he knows, with no one to be there for you.

Talk to your friends and get there opinions, talk to your parents, and most of all talk to your boyfriend, and decide whether you think you are ready for this big step.